__things that happened
11:28 pm
Heys...
I'm back at home and going back to school
Officially going back that is..
Erm..
Like we haven been going to school like that..
Haha..
Things are going awfully right in my life now..
And that's good for me..
Hees..
Erm..
Everytime I'm with Belle dear, things go correct..
I don't know why..
My parents dun scold me when I go home late after going out with her..
And it's like weird..
My friends should know why...
Hmmm
Erm..
I'm ready to sleep le..
Peace Outx...
*Loving Her*
Sunday, June 26, 2005
thoughts flow
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11:04 pm
Heys...
I'm in my Godma's house...
Haha.. Erm...
I almost patch up with dearie belle alr...
Yeah..
Opps...
Not suppose to reveal that much one..
But...
Too happy alr..
School hols is ending already..
That's equivalent to more time with belle..
Hees..
Peace Outx...
Saturday, June 25, 2005
thoughts flow
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12:10 am
Heys...
Hmmm...
Sianz...
Have been going to school and skipping chemistry..
Haiz..
Sho bad of me eh..
But I juz dun wanna go for Mr Basil Fu's chemistry lesson..
I mean... I wouldn't understand his lessons anyway..
Sho.. On monday, I went for LAN Gaming instead...
Hees..
And today, the filler item..
Hees..
Know what?
I'm taking over Daniel in Summer Sunshine..
Thus, I'm going to sing lead with Roystonn..
Yay..
Hmmm.. All the while, I've been singing parts that people won't notice..
Either baritone or bass..
Hmmm
A chance to prove a little of my singing ability...
Haiz..
I stepped on this metal thing and the top of it hit my face and it's like sho damn bloordy pain lor..
Sianz..
Wad if there's a bruise and it's not cleared up before the Music in Motion performance?
Wah.. Then it's be damn ugly...
Hees..
No inspiration for poem these days...
Going to stay awake to be bidding something from Ebay..
Hees..
Peace Outx...
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
thoughts flow
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12:43 am
Heys..
I wonder..
I wonder..
When's the last time I blogged?
Hees.. That's like almost a week ago..
Sianz..
What have I been doing the past week?
Erm...
Going to school for extra lessons...
Going for choir practice...
And.. There was a major combined practice on friday which..
din turn out to be very well lar..
You could see the darkness on Ong's face..
Haiz..
Erm.. the concert is sho near already..
And we just met our counterparts that will be performing with us..
Hees..
There's this cheerful Dunearn girl that keeps smiling... Hees..
Bring my mood real high up...
Coz I like seeing people laugh and smile..
I'll juz do the same..
Erm...
Hols are ending already..
Sianz..
My family minus me, will be going to chalet later today..
ARGHX...
I have school and school the next day...
Cant go lor..
It's like WTH..
Haiz..
I'll miss Wild Wild Wet once again..
Haven been there..
But I know I would enjoy myself there...
Peace Outx..
Monday, June 20, 2005
thoughts flow
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1:03 am
Heys...
I just came back from the Key Elements performance in Esplanade...
Hees...
They were great...
I recorded almost all the songs..
Haiz..
Except Hua Xin... No memory space in my phone.. Arghx..
In the morning got school, then sho sianz...
Hmmm
Then at around 5 plus, we bowled in Marina Square...
Wah...
The numbers 7 & 9 like haunting me...
My score for the 1st game is like
-3 9/ 9- 9- 7- 7- 7- [7]1 [7]2 9/7
4 nines and 5 sevens...
And my score for the 1st game is....
97...
It's like what the hell...
Nines and Sevens..
Hmmm...
Anyway, after the concert, went out with Zhier and Xinru..
Arghx..
They're like pulling my shirt and all that..
From the Esplanade to the Merlion thing and from there, all the way back until we reach the underpass...
They wanted me to sing 'Tong Hua'...
Haha.. That's like my specialty...
I even changed the lyrics for someone's birthday present eh..
Haha..
Then went to Toa Payoh Lorong 8 for supper..
I had chin chow drink and the 2 ladies had diluted soya milk...
'Yucks!' They said..
Haha..
Then had Hao Jian and roti prata...
Hmmm.. It ended with Xinru's dad fetching us home..
Wah... Sho good of him..
Hees..
Hmmm...
Peace Outx...
*New poem in poem section... Short poem by Tabii, Saffiee, Qiyunn & Me...*
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
thoughts flow
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11:58 pm
Heys..
Hmmm...
Sianz lar..
Nowadays I realised that Singapore is sho small..
There's nothing new that we can do everyday...
It's like a normal routine..
Only rich people can try new things..
Haiz...
Went to Bugis with Roy and HG..
Arghx...
Damn sianz lar..
Nothing to do lor...
Peace Outx...
Saturday, June 11, 2005
thoughts flow
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9:45 pm
Heys..
Hmmm..
I've gotten over that depression real quick..
I changed blog skin too..
I made that myself..
Hees..
Erm... Give comments...
Hmmm...
It seem much more gloomier now..
But... I seperated the sections...
I'm going to change the wisdom section to poem soon...
Hmmm.. That's what I did today..
Took me around 2 hours to finish with the blogskin..
But it feels fruitful..
Hope to go out tomoro..
Read my future poems in that section and not here...
Haha..
Peace Outx...
Friday, June 10, 2005
thoughts flow
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11:16 pm
Heys...
Happy Birthday Sis...
Now 11 already..
Mush be more ting hua..
Haha..
Erm..
I went to Bugis' V8 Movie Cafe with my sis, mom, aunts & cousins to celebrate her birthday today..
Hees..
In the end, we all ate too much and postponed the cake cutting to dinner time.
Then we went to Takashimaya...
Hmmm..
I din feel too good, sho I left early..
I dunno wad's with me...
I guess being stubborn is the only phrase to describe me...
Cry
If one day, I said that I'm going to cry,
who's going to be by my side?
If one day, my whole world crashed,
are you going to be there?
Crying
Crying
Crying
I'm no longer that crybaby I used to be when I was 4.
I'm not anymore used to crying out loud when I'm hurt.
I'm more used to storing everything inside of me.
Bottling up every feeling.
There's no one that can really understand my feelings.
Even myself, I have problems understanding it.
Why am I made in such a world that I'm going to be hurt sooner or later?
God made us not to suffer.
But it's the downfall of mankind that leads to suffering.
That leads to the outbreak of illness, diseases and crime.
I'm hurt by heartbrokeness.
When I said I'll change to be better,
you said that I won't be me anymore and things might end up worst.
I agreed at that time but I have new insights now.
I think that I should have changed.
You wouldn't like the old 'me' anyway right?
If I changed, everything might be different.
You might fall in love with me instead.
Instead of having me suffer so much and I know you suffer some with me too.
I'm sorry to bring suffering to you too.
I only desire to see happiness with you.
I shouldn't be jealous anymore.
If you can find happiness with anyone else,
I wish you all the best.
The only regret that I might have is that
the happiness isn't brought by me.
I shouldn't seek love anymore.
Love is not to be seeked.
It's a mutual feeling or affection.
No use changing nature.
It'll appear more weird in the end.
I'm awaken but still lost,
will someone find me in the end?
I hope to know that a.s.a.p.
Different things happened in the afternoon lar.
I cant explain.
Hmmm..
I wanna change blogskin soon.
Self made one.
Sho that I can seperate out the poem section from blogging.
And create another short stories section to further improve my EL.
Peace Outx.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
thoughts flow
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11:21 pm
Heys..
Some stalkers in the tag-board eh..
Say all you want lar..
It's not going to affect me..
Hees..
Went to East Coast in the afternoon with HG, Roy, Alan, XM, Hyunn, Wenx, Ken & Norine.
We were like cycling, then stop for lunch, then cycling again, then play with sand and sea water...
Then we went to suntec to eat, then went home feeling moody...
No inspiration lar..
Dno wad to write here at all..
I'm juz tired already.
Mentally and physically.
I don't know if i can still go on battling.
I'm like beaten and battered.
Tell me if I should be there for you.
I can't make decisions anymore.
Make them for me.
Coz I trust you to.
Peace Outx
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
thoughts flow
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12:03 pm
Heys...
My cousin's wedding in his own home was like sho nice...
My Godpa like change his whole garden to a damn nice place..
Arghx..
Love (Part V)
Maybe I should take my leave.
As I watch the dropping of leaves.
I want to get out of the pain.
The world where I cannot gain.
I told myself that I will win
that I will succeed.
But there's nothing that I can do.
Arghx..
Why is this so?
I'm now lost in your world.
I'm whirling and turning inside.
You don't see that I'm worried right?
Worried that I won't reach the middle of your heart
and that I can't get out of you.
I'm wanna smile and cry at the same time.
Tell me I'm worth something in your eyes.
Tell me that you don't want me to leave you.
Tell me that you can't live without me.
Tell me that you won't say all this. :'(
I'm getting stuff to eat..
Feeling quite hungry now..
Peace Outx...
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
thoughts flow
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11:34 am
Heys...
I just finished with my house hold chores...
Hmmm.. Went to Hougang Mall with Roy & Alun yesterday after church...
Wasn't in the best of mood..
Was looking for books on drums..
Cant find much lar..
Love (Part IV)
Crestfallen mood is over.
I've decided to wait.
No matter how long it'll take.
I know in my heart that it's going to take something drastic
to completely destroy that her in my heart.
She had already established herself in my heart.
Her foundation is too strong
and now she's already finished the middle portion
and building up the Advanced part.
No point deceiving myself.
She told me she like me before.
I just have to dig that out and re-establish it.
Lying time is over.
I can only work harder and harder.
Find more opportunities for myself.
No point getting jealous with anyone.
No point escaping from her.
No point telling others that I've gotten over her.
It's no point.
I'm aiming my target well and I don't plan to miss.
I'm always a sharpshooter
and that's part of me.
Hmmm..
4th part up already..
I'm going to my cousin's house later..
His birthday plus signing of marriage cert.
He's 26 alr today..
Hees..
Peace Outx..
Monday, June 06, 2005
thoughts flow
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9:05 pm
Love (Part III)
As I type this, my body feels lethargic.
I have lost those kind of magic.
Magic to win the hearts of girls and it's going to be a tragic.
I encourages myself by listening to music.
In the end, I end up feeling worse.
The songs I listen to are those
that are break-up and lost of love kind.
Love is funny.
It's never tiny.
If you think you can hide it,
think twice as it consumes you.
Love is like Biology.
I used to be like Protein.
At first, I'm useful like the rest and I enter the body.
Then the enzymes changes me and I become animo acids.
But in the end, it realised I'm like excess and deanimate me to form urea.
Soon, I'm out of it.
It's the same as love.
At first I fell in love with her.
Then she told me she also like me and that changes me.
But in the end, she realised that it's just friendship kind and it destroyed me.
Soon, I no longer want to think of her anymore.
Anyone spared a thought for the urea?
It was once a protein, alive and kicking.
It could build body muscles and it's useful.
But later, the selfish man consumed it in excess.
Then it became something disgusting called Urea.
Now, I'm like that Urea, DULL and USELESS.
Did you spare a thought for me?
You must be wondering,
if I was worth anything for you to spare a thought on.
Sunday, June 05, 2005
thoughts flow
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9:42 am
Heys...
Hmmm...
I'm going to church soon...
1st time in don't know how many weeks..
Yesterday was boring...
Did not go out until 6 something..
Haiz..
Den went to North Point to have dinner with the BaiLei..
Sianz..
The food court sho packed and Rotiboy is in the food court..
I mean who will buy..?
Haha...
Love (Part II)
Friends or lover
is like twist or turn.
It's just side by side,
next to each other.
Just like number 1 and 2.
It's so near that sometimes you don't know.
How close you are to love.
But it could also be so far
that you don't even glance past it.
The feeling is greater and still building on.
I don't know what's in me that turns me on.
I still think of you and see you every night.
When I dream and having insights.
Unrequited love that it might be
I don't mind waiting, even if it's only me
It's just something that I can't say
that it's there or already gone.
Everyday,
I feel you
further away from me.
I don't like
that feeling
but there's
nothing I can do.
Stay close to me, will you?
Don't ever leave me, will you?
Be my soulmate, will you?
Don't say goodbye, will you?
Comfort me, will you?
Be there for me, will you?
Hold me close, will you?
Put me in your heart, WILL YOU?
Haiz..
Erm.
It all came to my mind..
Hmmm..
I better rush off to church..
Don't wanna be late again..
Peace Outx...
thoughts flow
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11:20 pm
Heys...
Back from Choir Camp in the afternoon...
The Camp was sho packed lor..
Packed with singing and singing...
I'm knocked-out...
No energy left..
Was like half asleep when I was watching Bleach earlier on...
That's like impossible...
But I juz almost fall asleep..
The songs that we're going to sing in the July Concert are really nice..
Sho, get the tickets if you can...
Erm...
Before it's sold-out...
Love (Part I)
No one's about to replace you in my heart.
The kind of feeling I'm having now is worse than the past,
the period of time when I'm in doubt.
You've given me wonderful memories.
But I've been giving you so much worries.
As I realise that I've failed once again,
not in trying to make you mine,
but in attempting to create this barrier
in between us to limit it to friends only.
When I come to think of it now,
I realise the mistakes I've made.
Perhaps it's destiny that's seperating us,
Or according to things that show that it's a must.
I don't believe that I'll be able to win anyone's heart anymore.
Coz I can't find another one that I truly adore.
Even if I'm able to find one,
I might only go around and not doing anything to help myself.
As I trash things out on my own,
I realised that the deciding factor isn't me and who I choose.
It's you and what you want to pick.
I think a lot and get wrong impressions sometimes.
You happen to be able to give me the 'wrongest' and worst impression.
Wrong in the sense that it's not what you feel
and worst coz I'm commiting a mistake.
Thoughts collect in my brain
and immediately I'm reminded by the song 'Cats'.
'Memory, all alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again.'
Can I ever make memory in my so tattered and broken soul live again?
I really doubt so.
I have the ability to do any kind of things but
this kind of things require the assistance of yours.
I wanna live it again.
Haiz..
Dunno what came to my mind lar...
Juz wrote what's on it...
I'm going to sleep alr..
Peace Outx...
Friday, June 03, 2005
thoughts flow
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12:11 am
Heys...
I'm going to camp tomoro...
Or rather.. TODAY..
Hees..
Stupid Choir Camp..
It's going to be a sing-a-long session, which means we'll SING SING SING SING SING...
Hmmm...
Actually thought of writing a poem..
But no inspiration..
Haiz..
Hmmm..
Nothing much happen in choir today..
But the song we sang was really like a poem...
I'll type some part of it here...
There's a haven in this madness.
Where our spirits sing with gladness.
Come along with music making.
It's a journey worth the taking.
Tap your feet, begin your strumming.
Any move to get things humming.
We know paradise is coming.
When we feel our hearts a drumming.
Nice right..
Hees..
If you wanna hear us sing,
get the tickets from the Peircean Voices or
BPSS, BNSS, DSS Choir..
It's on the 5th of July..
Ruiz birthday..
Hees..
Betta sleep now..
Peace Outx...
Thursday, June 02, 2005
thoughts flow
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9:47 am
Heys..
Hmmm..
I'm Rukia eh...?
Caring, Curious, Strong, WISE & Good-hearted...
They describe some parts of me lar...
Hees..
Yesterday was sho boring..
Aft the remedial session,
went to Orchard with half the BaiLei and the Pencil Gang..
Hees..
Then halfway Tabii came and joined us...
But she had to leave early and being the Gentleman,
I accompanied her to take the bus and until she reaches home..
Hees..
Then the BaiLei Gang met again in J8...
Hees..
Alan wanted to buy a prezzie...
Oh ya...
------------------------------
Alan and Xin Min..
Happy 1 month anniversary..
Look loving always..
------------------------------
Then Roy and HG came over to my place..
Hees..
How rare izzit that they can come over...?
Erm..
We were like playing the Worms World Party..
Coz it's a 'new' game that Alan bought..
But we can play over LAN connection..
Then I end up having to be a pirate..
You should know what I mean lar..
Hees..
I'm waiting for choir practice to come..
Time's lyk ticking away..
Arghx..
My mom hafta NAG & NAG & NAG..
Cannot stand it..
Lost
I'm missing and I can't find
any help or any sign.
I don't know if I want to
feel the same way that I used to.
I'm like running a weird kind of race.
And it's becoming a different type of maze.
Things are changing and moving along,
seems like I lost in a night so long.
I woke up once in this messy place,
lie along in that screwed-up body.
Seemingly strange
and hit in a range.
Coz I'm beat and
looks as if I'm beaten.
The feeling is like a virus
Building on
and fighting on.
Defeating my strong-willed resistance.
I'm lost and as the feeling battles on,
I'm like fighting a losing battle.
Heys..
I'm going off to eat breakfast...
Peace Outx...
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
thoughts flow
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